I’m done. I’m throwing in the towel. I don’t want to do this anymore.
I’ve probably said this 100 times over the years of shooting professionally. I mean it would be way easier to work for someone else and let them have all the headaches. Sure, I’d have to give up making my own hours, being at every school event, going on adventures, building a future for MY children to take over, and not get to travel to incredible places with a camera… Sure I could quit.
I was in a funk the other day. I was sitting and feeling sorry for myself when my wife drops a pen and paper onto my lap and says, “I want you to write 50 things you’re grateful for.” Frustrated I picked up the pen and paper with a little more attitude then what was required and began to write, really hard… My thoughts wandered to “she doesn’t understand what I’m going through. What does she know!?” I mean she’s only been by my side from the beginning. Pity party. Geez! Thinking about it as I type this makes me feel silly. By about number 15 on the grateful list my heaviness started to thin and clarity began to bust through the fog. I realized how small my problems are and how I choose to make them mountains when in actuality they are mole hills at best. Perspective is everything.
I’m not being preachy here, but I want to encourage you as I have been encouraged. Hang in there! Much like the illustration, you might almost be at that pivotal point in your journey. One more swing of the axe, one more time to say yes, just another day and you’ll discover the diamonds. Don’t give up just yet. You won’t be put into any situation you can’t handle. Also, make sure you count the small diamonds that reveal themselves along the way. It may not come to you in one large cache but gathered one by one along the path.
(Disclaimer: I understand everyone’s situations are different and I’m not advocating that working for someone else is a bad thing, but for ME and MY FAMILY what I’m doing and the course we’re on is non negotiable.)